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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907900">The Phoenix Boys</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelaide007/pseuds/adelaide007'>adelaide007</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Phoenix Cycle [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boarding School, Child Abuse, F/M, Friendship, Godric's Hollow, Inspired by the Raven Cycle, James' car is named Minnie, M/M, Magic, Marauders, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, Psychic Abilities, Slow Burn, ley lines, takes place in the American South</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:27:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelaide007/pseuds/adelaide007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Lily Evans had forgotten how many times she'd been told that she would kill her true love."</p><p>Lily is a psychics assistant, James is her true love, Sirius is a dreamer, and Remus is just trying to survive until graduation. Oh, and Peter has been dead for 7 years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Phoenix Cycle [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! The Raven Cycle is my favorite book series, and I really wanted to combine it with the Marauders. Just for reference: Lily is Blue, James is Gansey, Sirius is Ronan, Remus is Adam, and Peter is Noah. However, things will be different from the original book series to fit the marauders characters better. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily Evans had forgotten how many times she’d been told that she would kill her true love.</p><p>Ever since she was a young girl, people of all sorts have imparted this wisdom upon her. Old women in the grocery store, young children screaming and playing in the park, drunk men trying to flirt with her during her shift at the Three Broomsticks. Lily never knew any of them, and they all had a sort of possessed air about them when they approached her and told her she would murder her soulmate. Specifically: If Lily were to kiss her true love, he would die.</p><p><br/>
When she was little, this terrified Lily. She dreamed up countless scenarios and potential deaths. Once, she was convinced that she would silently contract an infectious disease. One press of her lips to her true love and he, too, would die in a consumptive battle untreatable by modern medicine. Another time she thought that it would be jealousy that killed her soulmate, an old lover coming back to get revenge on the man who stole Lily’s heart.</p><p><br/>
By the time she was 13, she no longer believed in true love or magical killing curses. This was mostly thanks to her sister Petunia, who, after hearing about Lily’s fears, laughed at her and called her a freak. Lily decided her older sister was right and she was being ridiculous, but then one day as she walked home from school a teenage boy walking his dog stopped her in the street and with a glazed over look in his eyes told Lily that if she kissed her true love, he would die. Thus, the belief in her curse was reinstated.</p><p><br/>
 By 16, Lily decided she would never fall in love, so it didn’t matter.</p><p> </p><p>This all changed when, after a few too many drinks, she shared her secret prophecy with her best friends Mary and Marlene, who to Lily’s surprise didn’t laugh at all. They simply took it in stride and started making suggestions on how to help, which is how Lily found herself in the cramped living room of Sybill Trelawney, Hogsmeade’s resident crazy lady and supposed psychic.</p><p><br/>
Sybill stared at her eerily for a long time before she stated calmly, “Your energy is quite loud, my dear. Oh, and next year is the year you’ll fall in love.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Church Watch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily reached out to touch his shoulder, and as her hand touched the spirit she felt her warmth leave her immediately. The boy jerked away, finally seeing her. Lily recognized this as her last chance. “Tell me your name.”<br/>She felt cold, she felt dead herself.<br/>“Prongs,” he said. Though his voice was quiet, it wasn’t a whisper. It was a real voice spoken from someplace too far away to hear.<br/>Lily couldn’t stop staring at him as he ran his fingers through his messy hair again. His shoulders were soaked and clothes rain splattered from a storm that hadn’t happened yet. He was too real.<br/>“Is that all?” Lily whispered.<br/>Prongs closed his eyes. “That’s all there is.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrived.</p><p>            This is the second year Lily had come with Sybill to an old abandoned church on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, completely forgotten by time. It was April 24, St. Mark’s Eve. For most people, St. Mark’s Day came and went without note. No school holiday, no presents exchanged, no costumes or festivals. No one marked April 25 on their calendar. In fact, most of the living were unaware that St. Mark even had a day named in his honor.</p><p>            But the dead remembered.</p><p>As Lily sat shivering on the stone wall, she reasoned that at least it wasn’t raining this year. Last year Lily had come with Sybill simply because the woman had been so kind to her and answered all of Lily’s questions, albeit vaguely, in the weeks following their first meeting. Sybill asked her to come to the church watch because apparently, Lily was a sort of psychic battery who made Sybill stronger. Although Lily still did not truly believe in death predictions or walking spirits, she tagged along. A year later, she truly believed.</p><p>The decrepit church was nestled in densely wooded hills, several miles from the mountains proper. Only the exterior walls remained; the roof and floors had long ago collapsed inside. What hadn’t rotted away was hidden under hungry vines and rancid-smelling saplings. The remains of a metal gate just large enough for a coffin and its bearers sat at the beginning of a stubborn path that seemed impervious to weeds and led through to the crippled church door.</p><p>April days in Hogsmeade were often quite fair, even pleasant. But not tonight. Tonight it felt like winter. Lily wished she wore a thicker coat and gloves.</p><p>Lily glanced at her watch. A few minutes until eleven. The legends said the church watch occurred at midnight, but the dead kept poor time, especially when there wasn’t a moon.</p><p>The church watch was critical for one of Sybill’s most unusual services. So long as clients lived in the area, she guaranteed to let them know if they or a local loved one was bound to die in the next twelve months. Who wouldn’t pay for that? Well, the true answer was: most of the world, as most people didn’t believe in psychics.</p><p>Lily shuffled anxiously with her pen and paper, awaiting the spirits she could not see. She wondered if seeing the dead affected Sybill at all, but the woman looked completely at ease. She had an unnerving, otherworldly stare that Lily still hasn’t gotten used to, despite spending a few days a week helping Sybill with her readings for the past year. The pay wasn’t great, but considering she was being paid to be some sort of magical amplifier, Lily figured she shouldn’t complain. Truthfully, she had grown to enjoy Sybill’s company because the woman never made Lily feel strange.</p><p>“Its something to be proud of,” the psychic had said after Lily expressed that she hated being special but not in any noticeable sort of way. “To make someone else’s gift stronger is a rare and valuable thing.”</p><p>Now, sitting on the freezing stone wall at the church, Lily considered the difference between valuable and <em>useful</em>.</p><p>As if sensing Lily needed a distraction from her thoughts, Sybill asked in a mild tone: “How has your work at the Three Broomsticks been recently?”</p><p>She scoffed, “Overrun with Hogwarts boys, as per usual. “</p><p>The Three Broomsticks was a bar and grill in downtown Hogsmeade, and Lily absolutely hated working there. Her shifts consisted of waiting hand and foot on rich, entitled, obnoxious boys who went to the prep-school outside of town. Hogwarts Academy was an all-boys boarding school for politicians’ sons and oil barons’ sons and the sons of mistresses living off hush money. The building itself was more of a castle, with great stone walls and turrets and towers. In the parking lot out front sat shiny German made cars that cost more money than Lily could even conceptualize. April was a bad time for Hogwarts boys; as the weather warmed convertibles appeared bearing boys in shorts so tacky that only the rich dared to wear them. During the school week, they all wore the Hogwarts uniform: khaki pants and a V-neck sweater with a phoenix emblem. It was an easy way to identify the advancing army. Phoenix boys.</p><p>Hogwarts Academy was the number one reason Lily had developed her two rules: stay away from boys, because they were trouble. And two, stay away from Phoenix boys, because they were bastards.</p><p>Sybill interrupted Lily’s internal tirade with a quiet, “Here they come.”</p><p>To Lily, the churchyard was completely empty but to Sybill, it was full of the dead, or rather the spirits of those who would die in the next twelve months. They followed the corpse road into the church, Sybill asked their names and would repeat it back to Lily, who in turn wrote the names down on her sheet of paper. Lily had once asked how Sybill did this before, without Lily’s help, and the woman had merely said, “Inadequately, my dear.”</p><p>Sybill began reciting the names: George Wilkins. Esther Miller. Sarah Devlin. On and on. Lily diligently wrote as fast as she could, trying to keep up with Sybill. The list mostly consisted of names that were popular 80 years ago: Dorothy, Herbert, Melvin. Suddenly Sybill’s voice rose considerably.</p><p>“<em>Excuse me</em>. What is your name? You must tell me.”</p><p>Lily looked up and her heat dropped. She saw someone. She saw a spirit.</p><p>“I see him,” Lily whispered. She cleared her throat and spoke louder. “Sybill, <em>I see him</em>.”</p><p>She couldn’t pick out any of his features exactly, but she recognized it was a young man with glasses. He was wearing slacks and a sweater, but all other parts of him were indistinct. He looked so young- too young. He lifted his arm up and ruffled his hair in a strangely self-conscious gesture. No, that wasn’t what was strange about it. It was strange because it was such a <em>living</em> gesture that Lily felt sick.</p><p>She cleared her throat as he stumbled forward. “What’s your name?”</p><p>He didn’t hear her and continued slowly toward the church door. Lily moved closer hesitantly, “Please, who are you?”</p><p>He dropped his forehead into his hands, and Lily moved even closer. His face was completely featureless, or maybe Lily’s memory just kept escaping her every time she noticed something real about the boy. One thought ran through her head over and over: <em>He will be dead within a year</em>. How did Sybill bear it?</p><p>Lily reached out to touch his shoulder, and as her hand touched the spirit she felt her warmth leave her immediately. The boy jerked away, finally seeing her. Lily recognized this as her last chance. “Tell me your name.”</p><p>She felt cold, she felt dead herself.</p><p>“Prongs,” he said. Though his voice was quiet, it wasn’t a whisper. It was a real voice spoken from someplace too far away to hear.</p><p>Lily couldn’t stop staring at him as he ran his fingers through his messy hair again. His shoulders were soaked and clothes rain splattered from a storm that hadn’t happened yet. He was too real.</p><p>“Is that all?” Lily whispered.</p><p>Prongs closed his eyes. “That’s all there is.”</p><p>He fell to the ground and went completely still.</p><p>“Sybill! Sybill he’s dying!” Lily said frantically.</p><p>“Not yet,” she replied easily, and Prongs disappeared completely. Lily felt the warmth return to her skin, but she was still filled with cold dread.</p><p>The psychic looked at her directly with those eerily large eyes. “There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve, Lily. Either you are his true love, or you killed him.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Thought You Were Dead in a Ditch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Enter James, Sirius, and Remus</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s me,” said James.</p><p>           He turned around so that he was facing his car. The Camaro’s cherry red hood was up, more as a symbol of defeat than for any practical use. Remus, friend of cars everywhere, might have been able to determine what was wrong with it this time, but James certainly couldn’t. He’d managed to roll to a stop about four feet off the interstate and now the car’s fat tires sat off-kilter on top of lumpy tufts of valley grass.</p><p>On the other end of the phone, his roommate and best friend Sirius Black replied cheerily, “You missed History. I thought you were dead in a ditch.”</p><p>James checked his watch and found he had missed a lot more than History. It was past eleven o’clock and the afternoon sun was beating down relentlessly. Last night’s weather seemed entirely impossible as he wiped the building sweat from his forehead and ran his fingers through his tangled hair. Camping out in his car last night had been miserable, but entirely worth it.</p><p>He asked Sirius, “Did you get notes for me?”</p><p>“No,” Sirius replied. “I thought you were dead in a ditch.”</p><p>James let out a breath and rolled his eyes even though no one was around to see. <em>He </em>would have gotten notes for Sirius. “Minnie stopped. Come get me.”</p><p>A minivan slowed as it passed, the occupants glaring out the window. James was not an unpleasant looking boy and Minnie wasn’t too hard on the eyes, either, but this attention had less to do with comeliness and more to do with the novelty of a Hogwarts boy broken down and defeated on the side of the road. There was nothing the citizens of little Hogsmeade preferred over seeing humiliating things happen to Hogwarts boys, unless it was seeing humiliating things happen to their families.</p><p>Sirius said, “Come on, Prongs.” James knew he would come; Sirius was just complaining because the opportunity presented itself for him to be dramatic.</p><p>“It’s not like you want to go to class anyway. Please?”</p><p>Sirius was silent for a long moment. He was good at silence; it was a necessary part of being overly dramatic. But James was immune from long exposure. He leaned into the car while he waited for an answer to see if there was any food. In the glove box there was couple EpiPen’s and some melted chocolate from Honeydukes, probably left over from Remus.</p><p>“Where are you?” Sirius asked, finally, with a big sigh.</p><p>“Next to the Hogsmeade sign on 86. Bring me a burger and a few gallons of gas. Oh, and Moony.”</p><p>Sirius hung up. James pulled off his sweater and threw it in the back of the Camaro, right next to some old notebooks, broken pairs of glasses, and empty bottles of his father’s hair taming product. He looked at his own reflection in the window and saw his hair sticking up in a million different directions, the irony not escaping him. Also on the backseat were old maps and rumpled computer printouts, and a thick, well-loved journal. He tossed aside on old pizza receipt and grabbed a digital recorder out of the mess.</p><p>All last night he’d sat in his car with the windows rolled down in front of the modern Church of St. Cyril, recorder running, ears straining, waiting for- something. The atmosphere had been less than magical, but James had high hopes for the power of St. Mark’s Eve. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see the dead walking along the ley line. All of the sources said that church watchers had to possess “the second sight” and James’ eyesight was so awful he barely possessed the first sight. But he did get something last night. He just wasn’t sure what that <em>something</em> was yet.</p><p>Digital recorder in hand, James settled himself against Minnie to wait. He looked beyond the guard rail at a greening field and the mysterious blue crest of the mountains. As the breeze rushed over his ears, it sounded like a hushed shout. <em>You’re close</em>, it seemed to say.</p><p>Hogsmeade was a place where magic could happen, James knew it in his heart. The valley whispered secrets and James was listening. <em>Tell me where you are.</em></p>
<hr/><p>            Sirius Black’s sleek BMW pulled in behind the Camaro, its paint scuffed up from a recent drag race that James pretended he didn’t know about. James could hear Queen blasting out of the speakers. Sirius opened the driver’s side door, leather jacket on despite the heat. In the passenger seat was Remus Lupin, the third member of the foursome that made up James’ closest friends. Remus’ tie was perfectly knotted above the collar of his sweater. One long hand pressed Sirius’ cell phone tightly to his ear. As Sirius slammed the car door and made his way over to James, Remus frowned and turned the volume down on the stereo.</p><p>“My baby brother wants us to meet him at the Three Broomsticks tonight.” Sirius explained with a scoff. “Moony is negotiating.”</p><p>Sirius passed the gas can over to James, making no effort to keep his uniform clean. He always managed to make himself look as disreputable and careless as possible. His long brown hair was tied up in a loose bun, displaying multiple piercings in both ears. Under the wrinkled white uniform shirt were multiple tattoos. Sirius was the definition of teenage rebellion, but he achieved the look so effortlessly it made him seem much older.</p><p>“Negotiating?”</p><p>“Ya know, time and place. If there will be a doctor on sight, who our seconds will be.” Sirius smirked. “My second will be Remus by the way. He’s probably much better in a duel than you.”</p><p>“Fuck you. I would be way better at defending your honor.”</p><p>“It’s not about <em>honor</em>,” Sirius replied, smirk still firmly in place. “It’s about winning. You are too concerned with rules and principles. Remus is scrappy.”</p><p> James rolled his eyes, but he knew Sirius too well not to recognize the avoidance tactic. “Are you alright meeting up with him tonight?”</p><p>Sirius’ smirk went from playful to mean as he said, “I won’t start anything if he doesn’t.”</p><p>Brotherhood for the Blacks was a very complicated thing. Sirius, the disgraceful, deviant heir, and Regulus, the reserved spare, both loved each other very much. The issue was they both thought their ways of dealing with their awful family was better. Regulus went along with whatever his parents asked despite disagreeing with their principles. Sirius rebelled and took all the scathing criticism and emotional abuse by putting up a devil may care front. Until the night Walburga went too far. Until the night he ran away and swore to never return.</p><p>The fuel tank lid for the Camaro was located behind the spring-loaded license plate, and Sirius watched amusedly as James inexpertly wrestled with the lid, the gas can, and the plate.</p><p> “Thanks for the help” James said, mock glaring at his best friend.</p><p>Sirius just shrugged and looked back at his car, scratching at a scab on his wrist. Last week he and Remus had taken turns dragging each other on a moving dolly behind the BMW, and they both had scars to prove it.</p><p>The slamming of the car door startled James enough to spill fuel on his expensive pants, the third pair he’s ruined in a month. He heard Remus’ voice in his head saying: <em>Things cost money, Prongs. </em>But James didn’t mean to be careless, he just never realized the consequences of his actions until it was too late.</p><p>Remus climbed out of the BMW and made his way over to James and Sirius, tossing Sirius’ phone back to him easily. Unlike Sirius, Remus’ Hogwarts sweater was secondhand, but he’s taken great care to look impeccable and put together. He was slim and tall, with golden curls above a fine-boned face. Thin scars sat across his long nose and across his cheek. James glanced at Sirius who was looking at Remus a bit hungrily, then quickly looked away.</p><p>“Reg will meet us there at 5:30 tonight.” Remus said in his quiet, serene voice.</p><p> “Joy,” Sirius replied sarcastically. “You’ll be there right?”</p><p> “Am I invited?” Remus could be peculiarly polite. He should know by now that he did not need an invitation.</p><p> “Of course, Moony” James replied, accepting the greasy fast food bag Remus offered. “Sirius needs you to be his second.”</p><p> Remus looked at Sirius confusedly, but before he could ask and they got too off track James directed their attention back to the important stuff. “So…ask me what I found.”</p><p> Sirius rolled his eyes but indulgently replied, “What did you find Prongs?”</p><p>“Listen to this.” James pressed play on the recorder and for a moment there was silence. Then, James’ voice: <em>Prongs</em> it said. There was a long pause. Then, as if from very far away, a female voice asked: <em>Is that all?</em> James’ voice eerily replied:<em> That’s all there is</em>.</p><p>James looked at his friends expectantly, but they looked unconvinced and wary, respectively. So he said, “I wasn’t doing anything when I recorded that. I didn’t speak all night. It wasn’t until I was listening to the recording on the drive home that I heard it, and as soon as it played Minnie broke down.”</p><p>As if hearing the name of the Camaro woke him up, Remus moved behind the car to take a look. He’d not only brought two small containers of fuel additive, but also a rag to place between the gas can and his khakis; he made the entire process look commonplace. Remus tried so hard to hide his simple roots, but they came out in the smallest of gestures.</p><p>Sirius ripped the recorder from James’ hands and played it again, and again. As he did he started to look more and more excited, which energized James in return. Remus, as always, was still wary. “I suppose it is a bit strange, but maybe you just don’t remember speaking?”</p><p>“Moony, pop quiz. Three things that appear in the vicinity of ley lines?”</p><p>“Black dogs, demonic presences, and ghosts” he supplied easily.</p><p>“Ghosts!” James repeated, fervently. “Sirius queue up the evidence if you would, to help convince our dear Remus.”</p><p>Sirius walked over to Remus and stood right next to him, placing the recorded directly up against his ear and pressing play. Remus rolled his eyes but listened diligently, the warm day reddening his cheeks. It could have been any one of the mornings in the last year and a half, and James was hit with such a strong sense of gratitude for what he had discovered in Hogsmeade. Not just clues to what he was looking for, but infinite friendships.</p><p>Instead of commenting on the recording Remus said in a mild tone, “Try the car, Prongs.”</p><p>Leaving the door open, James crashed onto the seat and tried to start the car. The engine turned over once, paused for the briefest of moments, then roared to life. Minnie lived to see another day.</p><p>Remus leaned into the car and said, “We’ll follow you back to school. I’ll need to do some more work, there’s still something wrong with her.” He paused hesitantly, then reached into his pocket and retrieved a piece of paper.</p><p>“What’s this?” James asked, taking the slip. “A number for a psychic?”</p><p>“It’s the next logical step. You can ask them about what happened tonight.”</p><p>James tried not to judge other people’s professions, but he had been to psychics before, and it was mostly bullshit. But he supposed as someone who was on a magical quest he really had no room to criticize.</p><p>“What am I asking them?”</p><p>“That seems obvious,” Remus answered. “We need to find out who you were talking to.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Paranoia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus is just observant, definitely not paranoid. Nope, not at all.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus Lupin had been Prongs’ friend for over eighteen months now, and he knew that certain things came along with that friendship. Namely, believing in the supernatural, tolerating Prongs’ troubled relationship with money, and spending inordinate amounts of time with James’ other friends. The former two were only problematic sometimes, and the latter was only problematic when it was Sirius Black.</p>
<p>James had once told Remus that he was afraid most people didn’t know how to handle Sirius. At first, Remus had thought he could handle Sirius fine. Sirius was arrogant, cruel, dramatic, and inconsiderate of others. He flirted with everything that moved, always wanted to be the center of attention, and he <em>hated</em> Remus. Remus assumed it was because he didn’t want to be friends with the scholarship kid from the trailer park. But eventually Sirius started warming up to James’ charity case, to the point where now Remus considers Sirius a friend, too. And a friendly Sirius Black is a lot harder to handle than a Sirius Black who hates him.</p>
<p>Remus watched as his friend flirted relentlessly with their waitress at the Three Broomsticks. She really was quite pretty, with ebony skin and rich brown eyes. Her name tag read Mary, and she seemed amused by Sirius’ antics despite the great amount of eye rolling she was doing.</p>
<p>He, Remus, James, and Peter sat in a large circular booth in a secluded corner of the restaurant, waiting for Regulus to arrive. He was late. Sirius was clearly agitated and maybe a bit nervous to speak to his brother, not that he would ever display this anxiety. It was only noticeable in the way he kept twisting the many rings on his fingers, even as he attempted to chat up Mary. (Remus was good at observing others without being noticed, and he had a lot of practice when it came to Sirius.)</p>
<p>When Mary left to get their drinks with a final roll of her eyes, Sirius heaved a big sigh, moved to lean his full weight against Remus, and said “I think I’m winning her over. What do you think Moony?”</p>
<p>The language of physical touch is one Remus is unfamiliar with. He often struggles to translate when Sirius or James place a hand on his shoulder or mess up his hair. His only consolation is that Peter is equally as mystified by this secret language of physical affection.</p>
<p>Instead of responding, Remus pushed Sirius off him with an eye roll of his own and looked to James. “Did you call the psychic yet?”</p>
<p>“Not yet,” James said. “I was planning on doing it after dinner, which, are you sure you got the time right?” The question was directed at Remus, but he looked at Sirius as he said it.</p>
<p>“He told me 5:30.” All at once they turned to look at the big retro clock above the bar displaying the time: 6:02.</p>
<p>“He’s very late.” Peter stated.</p>
<p>Sirius scoffed. “Thanks genius. No wonder your grades are so good.”</p>
<p>Peter sulked back into the booth and James said, “Sirius” in a scolding tone. </p>
<p>Sirius scoffed and banged his hand against the table, hard. “Fuck this. Let’s just order already.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you want to call to make sure-”</p>
<p>“James.” Sirius interrupted. “We’re not talking about this anymore. We’re gonna sit here and eat shitty food and you’re gonna rant about the hallows like it’s a typical Thursday night.”</p>
<p>James shared a quick look with Remus, who merely shrugged. This is not what James wanted him to do. But Remus believed that feelings and personal lives were meant to be kept private and failed to understand James’ incessant need to heal Sirius’ relationship with his brother.</p>
<p>“Alright.” James said, after a long pause. “I’ll go call the psychic now then.” He got up from the booth and walked outside, accidentally bumping into a red-headed waitress as he left the restaurant.</p>
<p>Sirius continued to twist his rings, and his agitated energy bothered Peter enough for him to ask the worst possible question. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>Sirius narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to deliver what would probably be a scathing tirade that Peter in no way deserved. Before he could begin speaking Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’ wrist to pull him back and stated calmly, “I’ve been meaning to tell you guys something.”</p>
<p>Luckily this succeeded in distracting Sirius, who turned his gaze from a still terrified looking Peter to Remus’ hand on his wrist. Remus quickly pulled his hand away and took a breath, hoping he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. “Recently, I’ve been feeling like someone has been watching us.”</p>
<p>“Watching us?” Peter squeaked.</p>
<p>“Observing us. While we search for the Hallows and Peverell.”</p>
<p>As someone who was well versed in observing others, he was able to tell when eyes were on him.</p>
<p>Sirius raised a dark brow. “You’re paranoid.”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Remus responded. “I just wonder if James should stop telling everyone he meets about his magical quest.”</p>
<p>Sirius laughed out rightly at that. “That would be like asking him to stop breathing. You know he must tell everyone as loudly as possible about how the deathly hallows are real and buried somewhere. Relax, Lupin.”</p>
<p>“Maybe Remus is right…” Peter began, but before he could continue James came rushing back into the restaurant.</p>
<p>“We have an appointment tomorrow after school!” He exclaimed excitedly, and very loudly if the attention he was gaining from the rest of the tables was anything to go by.</p>
<p>Sirius leaned back into Remus with a smirk and whispered, “See, he’s completely incapable of being quiet.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Am Not a Prostitute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James meet for the first time. It goes as well as one would expect.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily was not having a good day.</p>
<p>After the church watch she was so exhausted that she fell asleep on Sybill’s couch and then slept through almost the entire school day. Sybill had told her when she woke up at 2 pm with an awful ache in her neck that Lily had let countless ghosts draw energy from her as she was talking to Prongs, which apparently was a very draining process. She told her parents that she was staying over at Marlene’s, so she didn’t have to worry about them. She did, however, have to worry about getting home and getting herself together before her shift at the Three Broomsticks.</p>
<p>Lily wouldn’t really describe herself as a waitress. After all, she also tutored elementary schoolers, babysat local neighborhood children, walked dogs that belonged to inhabitants of Hogsmeade’s poshest apartment complex, and served as Sybill Trelawney’s assistant. Really, being a waitress at the Three Broomsticks was the least of things she did. But the hours were flexible, it was the most legitimate-looking entry on her resume, and it certainly paid the best.</p>
<p>There was really only one problem with the Three Broomsticks, and it was that for all practical purposes, it belonged to Hogwarts. The bar and grill was seven blocks over from the iron-gated Hogwarts castle, at the edge of historic downtown. It wasn’t the nicest place in Hogsmeade. There were other restaurants with bigger televisions and much better food, but none of them had managed to grip the school’s attention like the Three Broomsticks. Just to know that it was the place to be was a right of passage; if you could be seduced by any of the flashier restaurants you didn’t deserve to be in the inner circle.</p>
<p>So the Hogwarts boys at Lily’s least favorite place of employment were not just Hogwarts students, but they were the most Hogwarts that the school had to offer. Entitled, condescending, and loud.</p>
<p>Exhibit A: the boy who rudely ran into Lily earlier without so much of an apology standing in front of a booth screaming about something that would be occurring “tomorrow after school”. Lily could only assume his plans were to exploit factory workers or to buy more salmon colored polo shirts or something.</p>
<p>Lily had dealt with enough phoenix boys to last a lifetime.</p>
<p>Tonight, the music was already loud enough to paralyze the finer parts of her personality. She took a deep breath and put back on her tip-earning smile as she went to greet her newest table. The only way to survive these shifts was to say <em>this is money for college</em> over and over in her head until the sound of Hogwarts boys complaining over the amount of ice in their drinks was merely background noise she could ignore.</p>
<p>She could not ignore Mary, who asked her to help run food to a booth in the back. Coincidentally it was the booth holding loud salmon-colored-shirt-boy who was now pouring over some sort of journal and talking expressively with his hands. Next to him sat a boy Lily could only describe as smudgy, and across from him was a dangerous looking boy with long dark hair. The final member of their party was very thin, with curly golden hair and a wry smile. He seemed achingly familiar, but Lily could not put her finger on how she knew him.</p>
<p>As soon as she and Mary placed the food down, she could feel ugly-polo-shirt-boy’s attention on her. He stopped what he was saying to stare at the side of her head, and she willed herself not to meet his eyes in case he got any wrong ideas.</p>
<p>Luckily, she was saved by Rosmerta, the owner of the restaurant, who called out: “Lily, you have a phone call in the back.”</p>
<p>She confusedly rushed to the door leading to the kitchen and grabbed the old landline telephone.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Lily, my dear. I have some news.” It was Sybill. Why in the world was she calling her at work?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Sybill, but I’m at work and-”  </p>
<p>“No, listen to me.” This is the most assertive Lily has ever heard the other woman sound. “Your boy has made an appointment for a reading tomorrow at 4.”</p>
<p>Now Lily was really confused. “My boy?”</p>
<p>“Prongs.”</p>
<p>Lily almost dropped the phone in shock. Her heart was fluttering. <em>He’s real. He’s actually real. </em>“I’m going to be there.”</p>
<p>“Yes, you are.” And then Sybill hung up.</p>
<p>It seemed foolish, all of sudden, to be here filling drinks and smiling at strangers. It felt so mundane in light of everything. There was a boy out there right now who could be Lily’s true love, and she was going to meet him tomorrow. Sybill had predicted this was the year she was going to fall in love, but was it also the year she would kill him? Prongs had to be her true love. It’s not like she would kill anyone else.</p>
<p>Something touched her shoulder.</p>
<p>Touching was strictly against Lily’s policy. No one was to touch her person while she was at the Three Broomsticks, and especially no one was to touch her now, when she was having a crisis. She whirled.</p>
<p>“Can. I. Help. You?”</p>
<p>Before her stood the loud boy in the even louder shirt, who had wire-frame glasses and unruly hair. His watch looked like it cost more than her dad’s car, and every area of exposed skin was a flattering shade of tan. Lily had never figured out how Hogwarts boys managed to tan earlier than locals. It probably had something to do with things like spring break and private islands.</p>
<p>“I certainly hope so,” he said, in a way that indicated less hope and more certainty. He spoke loudly even up close, and he had to incline his head to meet her eyes. There was something annoyingly impressive about him, and he was so smug it seemed like he knew it. “I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and I was wondering if you would like to come talk to my friends and I for a bit.” At this, he gestured behind him to his booth, where the smudgy boy and the dangerous boy were currently laughing hysterically. The boy in front of her looked completely unconcerned.</p>
<p>Lily used one millisecond of her time to imagine what it would be like, throwing herself at a booth of phoenix boys and wading through awkward, probably sexist conversation.</p>
<p>It took everything in Lily not to punch him in the face.</p>
<p>She said, “Do you see how I’m wearing this apron? It means I’m working. For a living.”</p>
<p>The unconcerned expression didn’t flag. He said, “I’ll take care of it.”</p>
<p>She echoed, “Take care of it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. How much do you make in an hour? I’ll take care of it. And I’ll talk to Rosmerta.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Lily was actually lost for words. She had never believed people who claimed to be speechless, but she was. She opened her mouth, and at first, all that came out was air. Then something like the beginning of a laugh. Then, finally, she managed to sputter, “I am not a <em>prostitute.”</em></p>
<p>The Hogwarts boy appeared puzzled for a long moment, and then realization dawned. “Oh, that was not how I meant it. That is not what I said.”</p>
<p>“That is what you said! You think you can just <em>pay</em> me to talk to you? Clearly you pay most of your female companions by the hour and don’t know how it works in the real world but, most girls, when they’re interested in someone, will sit with them <em>for</em> <em>free.</em>”</p>
<p>To his credit, the phoenix boy didn’t speak right away. Instead, he thought for a moment and then he said, a bit nervously, “You said you were working for a living. I though it’d be rude to not take that into account. I’m sorry you’re insulted. I see where you’re coming from, but I feel it’s a little unfair that you’re not doing the same for me.”</p>
<p>“I <em>feel</em> you’re being condescending,” Lily said.</p>
<p>In the background, she caught a glimpse of the boy in the leather jacket making a plane of his hand. It was crashing towards the table while smudgy boy laughed even harder than before. The other boy looked vaguely horrified and put his face in his hands.</p>
<p>“I really don’t know what else to say.” As he said this, he ran his fingers through his hair and for a second Lily felt a spark of- something.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” she recommended.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” He repeated obediently.</p>
<p>“Then bye.”</p>
<p>He made a little gesture at his chest that she thought was supposed to mean he was curtsying or bowing or something. Marlene would have flipped him off, but Lily just stuffed her hands in her apron and watched him go back to his table. He grabbed his journal and smacked himself in the face with it until the golden haired one took it away from him. The boy with the long dark hair kept saying “not a prostitute” over and over with a derisive laugh.</p>
<p>Sybill had to be wrong. She’d never fall in love with one of them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed:) I'm planning on updating twice a week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Displays of Brotherly Affection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James and Remus discuss ley lines, and do not discuss Remus. Regulus finally shows up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tell me again,” James asked Remus, “why you think a psychic is a good idea?”</p>
<p>The food had been demolished (no help from Peter, who often refused to eat despite their many protests), which made James feel better and Sirius feel worse. By the end of the meal, Sirius had picked off all his moving-dolly scabs and would’ve picked off Remus’ as well if he’d let him. James sent him outside to blow off steam and Peter to babysit him.</p>
<p>Now James and Remus sat at their booth waiting for Mary to return with their change.</p>
<p>“They deal in energy work,” said Remus, barely loud enough to be heard over the blaring music. He was looking around the restaurant, probably for the evil, <em>not-a-prostitute</em> waitress. Remus had looked supremely disappointed in him when he sat down after trying to chat her up, which made James feel quite guilty. It was possible that he’d once again been oblivious about money. He hadn’t <em>meant</em> to be offensive, but, in retrospect, it was possible he had been. His encounter with her (<em>Lily,</em> his brain supplied unhelpfully) would probably haunt him for weeks.</p>
<p>Remus continued, “The ley lines are energy. Energy and energy.”</p>
<p>“It still seems like a long shot that she will know anything about what we’re looking for.”</p>
<p>Remus shrugged, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”</p>
<p>His neck might have broken from all the looking around he was doing. James wondered if Remus had also found Lily attractive and was going to ask her out himself. He quickly shook the thought from his head. Remus probably just wanted to apologize for his awful, rich friend, and he definitely did not have time for a girlfriend.</p>
<p>Remus seemed to give up looking with a sigh, and he closed his eyes and placed two slender fingers against his forehead. He looked exhausted, up too late too many nights in a row working and studying. James hated seeing him like this, but nothing he thought of in his head sounded like something he could actually say to him. There was nothing Remus hated more than pity.</p>
<p>“I wish we had a sense of how wide the lines were. I don’t know if we’re looking for a thread or a highway, even after all this time.” James said instead of any of the things he wanted to say, like <em>If you got a loan, you could stop working until after college </em>or <em>just move in with me, please.</em></p>
<p>“We know they can be dowsed, so they can’t be that narrow,” Remus replied, oblivious to James’ inner turmoil.</p>
<p>Dowsing was what brought James to Hogsmeade in the first place, along with months of research. He’d dowsed the lines very precisely with Remus months ago. They’d circled the town with a divining rod and an electromagnetic-frequency reader. The machine had spiked strangely a few times, and James had thought he’d felt the diving rod twitch in his hands, but he couldn’t be sure.</p>
<p><em>I could tell him his grades will go to hell if he doesn’t cut back on his hours</em>, James thought, looking at the dark skin under Remus’ eyes. If he made it about himself Remus might not interpret it as charity. He considered how to frame it in a selfish way: <em>You’re no good to me if you’re dead on your feet.</em> (<em>Or just dead</em>, his brain supplied unhelpfully).</p>
<p>“We need a solid point A before we even start thinking about point B.” James said.</p>
<p>But they had a point A and a point B. The problem was just that the points were too large. James had a map of all of Virginia with the ley line marked darkly across it. Like the ley-line enthusiasts in the UK, American ley-line seekers determined key spiritual places and drew lines between them until the arc of the ley line became obvious. But the creators of those maps never meant for them to be used as road maps, they were too approximate. One of the maps merely listed New York City, Washington D.C., and Charleston, West Virginia as potential reference points. All of the points were miles wide, and there were thousands of acres where the ley line could be. Thousands of acres where Peverell and the Hallows could be, if they were along the ley line at all.</p>
<p>Remus’ exhausted face gave way to his brilliant idea face. The fatigue melted away. “What if we hooked up a car battery to the rods? Or had some sort of amplification? Something to make it louder and easier to follow!”</p>
<p>It was a good idea, but before James could respond Peter materialized in front of the table, looking strained and urgent.</p>
<p>“Peter, what is it?” demanded James.</p>
<p>Peter seemed about to put his hands in his pockets and then didn’t. His hands seemed to belong fewer places than other people’s. “Regulus is here with his friends. In the parking lot. He and Sirius-”</p>
<p>Not bothering to wait for the rest of the sentence, James burst out into the black evening. Running around the side of the building, he skidded onto the parking lot just in time to see Sirius throw a punch.</p>
<p>From the looks of it, it was the opening act. In the ugly fluorescent light of a flickering streetlamp, Sirius had an unbreakable stance and an expression hard as granite. There was no wavering in the line of the blow, despite his only brother being on the other end of it.</p>
<p>From his parents, James had gotten an affection for research and a trust fund the size of most state lotteries.</p>
<p>From their parents, the Black brothers had gotten massive egos, a decade of obscure lessons in French etiquette, and severe anger issues.</p>
<p>“<em>Sirius!”</em> James shouted, too late.</p>
<p>Regulus went down, but before James even had time to form a plan of action, he was back up again, fist smacking against Sirius. Regulus’ friends, for lack of a better word, cheered. The usual assholes were present, Malfoy, Mulciber, Snape, and others James couldn’t make out in the shitty lighting.</p>
<p>Seeing as none of them had any intention of intervening, James took several strides across the lot. “Sirius!”</p>
<p>Sirius didn’t even turn his head. A grim smile was etched onto his mouth as the brothers whirled around. This was a real fight, not for show, and someone would be unconscious soon. James sprang, seizing Sirius’ arm mid-swing. Regulus already had a fist flying though, so it was James who got Regulus’ blow. Something wet misted his arm. He was fairly certain it was spit, but is was possible it was blood. He propelled Sirius about five feet away, then held his hands up in the middle of the two brothers.</p>
<p>“Stop,” James panted. “You’re ruining your face.”</p>
<p>Sirius clenched his fists, all muscle and adrenaline. Regulus, who was narrower but no less strong, started back toward them. There was no way of telling what had set them off- Regulus not showing up to dinner, his awful friends, a message for Sirius from their mother.</p>
<p>Across the lot, Rosmerta emerged from the front entrance. It wouldn’t be long before the cops were called. <em>Where was Remus?</em></p>
<p>“Regulus,” James said, voice full of warning, “if you come back over here, I swear…”</p>
<p>Regulus had the beginnings of a nasty bruise around his eye and a cut on his jaw. “You’ll what?” He said, mockingly. He turned back to Sirius. “Remember what I said.” With that he stalked off with his creepy gang.</p>
<p>James turned back to his best friend. Sometimes, after Remus had been hit, there was something remote and absent about his eyes, like his body belonged to someone else. When Sirius was hit it was the opposite; he became so present and energized it was like he wasn’t even awake before.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“He came here with those fuckers and said a lot of bullshit, that’s all.” James could tell that wasn’t the whole story, but he didn’t press.</p>
<p>“You promised Alphard.” James said instead.</p>
<p>Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. “I know.” The only reason Sirius was able to attend Hogwarts and live in Gryffindor House with James was because of his Uncle Alphard, who agreed to pay his tuition and leave him a trust fund after he graduated, as long as he kept his grades up and didn’t get in fights.</p>
<p>Sirius didn’t meet James’ eyes as he walked over to Minnie and got in the passenger seat, slamming the door so loud it echoed across the parking lot. James joined Remus at his safely distant vantage point. In comparison to Sirius, Remus looked clean, contained, and completely in control.</p>
<p>“I convinced them not to call the cops,” he said. Remus was good as making things quiet.</p>
<p>James sighed in relief. He didn’t have it in him to talk to the cops on Sirius’ behalf, again.</p>
<p>“Where’s Peter?” He had disappeared, which was very usual for their friend.</p>
<p>“Leaving the tip.”</p>
<p>Across the lot, Peter emerged from the Three Broomsticks and slouched towards them. In the Camaro, Sirius’ silhouetted form lay in the front seat. Next to him, Remus gave James a small smile that was mean to be reassuring but didn’t quite meet his eyes. There was something pregnant about the night, James thought, something out of sight opening its eyes.</p>
<p>“Excelsior,” He said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Apologies & Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus apologizes. Lily reads a journal that isn't hers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Lily made her way outside after her shift, weariness had extinguished her anger. She sucked in a huge breath of the cool night air. It didn’t seem like it could be the same substance that filtered through the Three Broomstick’s air-con vents.</p><p>She tilted her head back to look at the stars. Her breath came easier and slower with each constellation she found. One day, she would live somewhere where there was no light pollution at all, and the stars would look bright enough to touch. </p><p>The chain was cold as Lily unlocked her bike. Across the parking lot, muffled conversations faded in and out. Footsteps scuffed across the asphalt somewhere close behind her.</p><p>“Excuse me, um- hi.”</p><p>The voice was careful, masculine, and local; she could hear a soft southern twang in each of the vowels. Lily turned with a polite smile.</p><p>To her surprise, it was one of the boys in the problematic booth from earlier, the elegant looking one with lanky limbs and child-like curls. His face looked gaunter and older in the streetlight, the scars on his face highlighted. He was alone. No sign of the condescending one, the smudgy one, or the one who got in a fight in this very parking lot hours before. A large hand steadied his bike. The other was tucked neatly in his pocket. His uncertain posture didn’t match his probable identity as a phoenix boy, and his clothes looked worn and old.</p><p>“Hi,” Lily said, softer than she would’ve if he didn’t look so nervous. She didn’t know what sort of Hogwarts boy wore hand-me down sweaters. “What can I do for you?”</p><p>He fiddled with his bike. She didn’t know what sort of Hogwarts boy rode a bicycle instead of driving a Mercedes, either. “I just wanted to apologize for earlier. James, he um- he speaks without thinking but he didn’t mean to offend you. Anyways I just wanted to apologize for what happened.”</p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck at this, looking abashed. An unpleasant thought crossed Lily’s mind, that this boy was also trying to ask her out.</p><p>“Thank you, but I’m not really interested in anything.” She said.</p><p>The boy looked confused for a moment before he blushed with realization. “Oh no. I mean, I’m not apologizing because I- trust me I’m also not interested I just-”</p><p>It was clear his stuttering was frustrating him, because he dragged a hand down his face. “I’ve been on the receiving end of James’ insensitivity about money many times. I just wanted to say sorry.”</p><p>He seemed genuine, so Lily softened again. “Thanks, I appreciate it…”</p><p>“Remus.” The boy filled in.</p><p>And suddenly Lily was struck with a memory, something she hadn’t thought about in years. A short boy, very skinny, with close cropped blonde hair. He sat next to her in third grade and was very quiet. But it was ok because Lily talked enough for the both of them. She loved his name, Remus, because it was special. He always complemented her drawings and helped her with math homework. Then one day, a few months into the year, she noticed a large purple bruise on his arm. Her relentless questioning got the attention of their teacher, who took Remus to the nurse’s office with a concerned frown.</p><p>Remus never came back.</p><p>She was quite sad for a while, but she figured he must have moved away. She forgot about him until this moment, when he stood right in front of her.</p><p>“Remus,” she whispered, and the recognition must have shown on her face because Remus gave her a small little smile.</p><p>“Good to see you again, Lily.” With that he turned his bike around and rode back the way he came.</p><p>Lily stared after him for a while, until the rear door of the restaurant cracked open. She jumped a little, but it was only Rosmerta. She had a fat leather-bound book in her hands, that Lily knew instantly. She’d seen it in ugly-polo-shirt’s, <em>James’,</em> hands.</p><p>Rosmerta asked, “Do you know who left this behind? It was in one of the booths.”</p><p>Lily accepted the journal and flipped it open. The journal didn’t immediately choose a page to open to; it was so well-worn and well-stuffed that every page claimed seniority. It finally split down the middle, obeying gravity instead of use.</p><p>The page it opened to was a mishmash of yellowed clippings from books and newspapers. Red pen underlined a few phrases, added commentary in the margins <em>(Crystal caverns count as spiritual place? Death=dreamless sleep?)</em> and jotted a list titled “Important Places to Peverell and his Followers.” On the list was Hogsmeade, Virginia.</p><p>“I didn’t really read it,” Rosmerta said. “I just wanted to see if there was a name in there to return it. But then I saw that it was- well, it’s your stuff.”</p><p>By this, she meant it was the stuff of a girl who spent a lot of her free time with a psychic.</p><p>“I think I know who it belongs to,” Lily said. She had no immediate thought other than wanting to spend more time flipping through its pages. “I’ll take it.”</p><p>After Rosmerta had returned inside the restaurant, she flipped the journal back open. Now she had time to marvel at the sheer density of it. There were so many clippings that the journal wouldn’t stay book shaped without the leather bindings. Pages and pages devoted to these ripped excerpts, and there was an undeniable tactile pleasure to browsing. There were notes and annotations everywhere, in every color ink. They contradicted one another and referred to one another in third person. Things were highlighted and underlined and circled and marked with exclamation points.</p><p>It took her a long time to make sense of what the journal was really about. It was pretty disorganized, but there were some rough sections. There was one on ley lines, invisible energy lines that connected spiritual places. There was a section on The Tale of the Three Brothers, from the Tales of Beetle the Bard. There was a section on each of the Deathly Hallows, their powers and what they meant for the owner. Finally, there was a section specifically about the third brother, Ignotus Peverell, and theories about if he was really dead.</p><p>It was fascinating, and magical, and more than anything, the journal <em>wanted.</em> It wanted more than it could hold, more than words could describe, more than diagrams could illustrate. Longing burst from the pages, and it was quite pained and melancholy.</p><p>Lily spent hours that night pouring over every crevice of the book, keeping the light on even though it annoyed her sister. Her final conclusion was that there was no way this journal could belong to that boy- James. Someone must have given it to him.</p><p>But deep in her heart, she knew that wasn’t true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! sorry this a short one but next chapter should be up by tomorrow :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Nighttime Searches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Its nighttime, which for James means phone calls from old professors and frantic searches for best friends. </p><p>TW: mentions of suicide</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James woke up in the middle of the night to the full moon shining on his face and his phone ringing.</p><p>He fumbled for where it was nestled in the blankets beside him. Blind without his glasses, he had to hold the screen an inch from his eyes to read the caller ID: <strong>Elphias Doge. </strong>Now James understood the timing of the call. Professor Doge lived in England, a five hour time difference from Hogsmeade. Midnight in Virginia was five in the morning for Doge, ever the early riser. The professor was one of the prime researchers of British ley lines. He was extremely old, either 80 or 90 or 200. He had taken James in during the summer he spent travelling between Wales and London. James was fifteen then, which felt like a lifetime ago but was really only two years ago.</p><p>“James,” Doge said warmly, either unaware or uncaring of the time difference. Without further preamble, the professor entered into a one-sided conversation about the weather, the historical society’s last meeting, and how frustrating his neighbor’s children were. James only understood about half of the monologue, with the man’s thick accent and ancient age.</p><p>Getting out of bed to crouch beside his model of Hogsmeade, James half-listened to the man’s ramblings. He suffers from severe insomnia, so to fill his waking hours he began creating a model of his beloved town with cereal boxes and other scraps he could round up. He was quite proud of it, and last week he even began painting some of the buildings to look more accurate.</p><p>James let the professor go on for about 15 minutes before he politely interrupted. “It’s nice of you to call.”</p><p>“I found a very interesting textual source,” Doge said, “who suggested that the ley lines are dormant. Sleeping. Sound familiar?”</p><p>“Like Peverell! So what does that mean?”</p><p>“Might explain why they’re so hard to dowse. If they’re still present but not active, the energy would be very faint and irregular. In Pembrokeshire, I was a following a line with his fellow- fourteen miles, rotten weather, he was quite unpleasant- and then it just disappeared.”</p><p>Retrieving a tube of glue and some cardboard shingles, James used the strong moonlight to work on a roof while Doge went on about the unpleasant Welsh man. Then he asked, “Did your source say anything about waking the ley lines up? If Ignotus can be woken, the ley lines could be, too, right?”</p><p>“That’s the idea.”</p><p>“But all it takes to wake Peverell is discovery, and people have been walking all over the ley lines”</p><p>“Oh no, Mr. Potter, that’s where you are mistaken. The spirit roads are underground. Even if they weren’t always, by now they have been covered by centuries of earth. We don’t walk the lines, we just follow the echoes.”</p><p>“Okay. So we go undergound. Caves maybe?”</p><p>“Oh, caves are dreadful things,” Doge replied. “Do you know how many people die in caves every year? Thousands. Much better to stay above ground. And besides, this source says there is a ritual to wake the ley lines from the surface. You could do a symbolic laying of hands on the energy there in Hogsville.”</p><p>“Hogsmeade.”</p><p>“Florida?”</p><p>Whenever James talked to British people about America, they always seemed to think he meant Florida, Texas, or California. He said, “Virginia.”</p><p>“Right,” replied the professor. “Think how easy it would be to follow that spirit road to Peverell and the Hallows if it’s shouting instead of whispering. You find it, perform the ritual, and follow it to find the man who cheated Death.”</p><p>James closed his eyes to calm his pulse. It seemed easy when Doge said it like that, condensed into three simple steps. He wondered what Ignotus would look like. This slumbering figure was dizzyingly important to James in a way he couldn’t even begin to understand or shape. It was something more, something bigger, something that mattered. Something without a price tag. Something earned.</p><p>“The text is unclear on how to perform the ritual, but I’m going to try it in Pembrokeshire with a much better partner. I’ll let you know how it goes.”</p><p>“Brilliant,” James replied. “Thank you so much.”</p><p>“Give my regards to your mother and father.”</p><p>“I wi-”</p><p>“A dangerous thing American politics. I commend your father’s bravery…” He went on for a while about the horrors of the United States government. Doge sounded quite cheerful by the time the phone had gone silent.</p><p>Energized by what he had learned, James set off to find Sirius.</p><p>Gryffindor House was the off campus house James rented for himself so he did not have to suffer though dorm living. It was a historical brick building with a gaudy but wonderful lion statue on the front porch. The man who built the house, Godric Gryffindor, requested that nothing be changed after he died, and this rule held firm for hundreds of years. Apart from the questionable plumbing system and the addition of heat, air conditioning, and kitchen appliances, it was very much a colonial house. The floors creaked loudly, there were columns on the front porch, the windows were massive, and there were creepy portraits everywhere. James loved it like he has loved no other place he ever lived in his very privileged life. Because more than any of the other places, Gryffindor House felt like home.</p><p>James’ bedroom was the old master, so he had to walk down a flight of stairs to reach Sirius’ room. Sirius also suffered from lack of sleep most nights, so he expected to find his friend awake and listening to music. But when he walked into the room it was empty. James told himself not to panic as he banged on Peter’s door to wake him up, then continued down the stairs to the ground floor, checking the kitchen, bathroom and parlors.</p><p>Sirius was no where to be found.</p><p>James called him once, twice, seven times. No reply. His voicemail merely said, “Sirius Black.”</p><p>On his eighth try he cut off the recorded voice mid-word, his pulse thundering. For a long moment he debated, then pressed on another contact. This time it was Remus’ voice that answered, groggy with sleep. “Prongs?”</p><p>“Sirius is gone.”</p><p>Remus was quiet. It was not just that Sirius had vanished, it was that he had vanished after a fight with Regulus. But it wasn’t an easy thing to leave the Lupin household in the middle of the night. The consequences of getting caught would leave physical evidence, and it was getting too warm for long sleeves. James felt awful for asking this of him.</p><p>“I’ll check the park,” Remus whispered finally. “And, uh, the bridge I guess.”</p><p>He hung up so softly that James barely noticed. Until Peter found him with his phone still pressed against his ear.</p><p>“Check the church,” Peter said. He looked pale and insubstantial in the yellow, late-night light of the room behind him. He looked less like Peter and more like the suggestion of Peter.</p><p>James flinched. "Jesus, Pete. You scared me half to death."</p><p>"I've been dead for seven years." Peter responded eerily.</p><p>He didn’t say he would go along, and James didn’t ask him to. Six months ago, Peter had found Sirius in an introspective pool of his own blood, and so he was exempt from ever having to look again.</p><p>Pulling on his jacket, James headed out into the driveway. The hood of Sirius’ BMW was cold, so he hadn’t driven recently. Wherever he’d gone he went on foot. The church, its spire illuminated by streetlights, was in walking distance. He got in his car anyway, trying to get there as fast as possible.</p>
<hr/><p>Despite the strong moonlight, the entrance to St. Raphael’s lay in total darkness. Stepping through the black arch of the doorway, James thought, <em>Pete is good at finding things</em>. He hoped Peter was right about Sirius.</p><p>“Sirius?” The word echoed through the expanse of the cold building, so it was only his own voice, in the end, that answered him.</p><p>The darkness and uncertainty crushed James’ ribs, and his breathless lungs reminded him of a long-ago summer day, when he first realized magic was real.</p><p>And there Sirius was, stretched out on one of the shadowed pews, an arm hanging off the edge, the other skewed under his head. He wasn’t moving.</p><p>Edging into the pew behind Sirius, he put his hand on the other boy’s shoulder, roughly trying to shake him awake. The shoulder was warm below his hand; he smelled of alcohol.</p><p>“Wake up, please,” he pleaded.</p><p>Sirius’ shoulder shifted and his face turned. His gray eyes opened slowly.</p><p>James let out a sigh. “You bastard.”</p><p>Sirius said plainly, “I couldn’t dream.” Then, taking in James’ stricken expression, he added, “I promised you it wouldn’t happen again.”</p><p>James tried to keep his voice light but failed. “But you’re a liar.”</p><p>“I think you’re mistaking me for Remus.”</p><p>The church was quiet around them but seemed brighter with Sirius awake and safe beside him, if slightly drunk.</p><p>“When I told you I didn’t want you getting drunk at Gryffindor House, I didn’t mean I wanted you getting drunk somewhere else.”</p><p>Sirius’ eyes dropped to something he held near his chest.</p><p>“What is that?” James asked, warily.</p><p>Against his chest, Sirius held a small black puppy.</p><p>“Christ, where did you get a dog?”</p><p>Sirius slowly sat up, still holding his cargo close. Another whiff of alcohol-laced breath drifted between them.</p><p>“Where did it come from?”</p><p>“I found it.” His fingers were a compassionate cage around the small animal. “His name is Padfoot.”</p><p>“People find pennies,” James replied. “Or car keys. Or four-leaf clovers.”</p><p>“And puppies. You’re just jealous cuz you don’t have a Padfoot.”</p><p>James looked at him incredulously. “What if I implement a no-pets policy in the house.”</p><p>“Well, fuck, Prongs,” Sirius replied. “You can’t just throw Peter out like that.”</p><p>It took James a moment to realize that Sirius made a joke, and by then it was too late to laugh. In any case, he was going to let the dog return with them to Gryffindor, if only temporarily, because he saw the possessive way Sirius held it.</p><p>“Get up. We’re going back home.”</p><p>Sirius barely moved. Instead, he said, “Pete. You’re creepy as hell back there.”</p><p>In the deep, shadowed entrance of the church, Peter stood silently. For a second, he seemed opaque, then the light shifted, and he was visible, rumpled and familiar.</p><p>“I thought you weren’t coming.” James said.</p><p>Peter just shrugged. Then he came a bit closer. “Where did you say you found that dog again?”</p><p>“In my head.” Sirius’ laugh was sharp and cold.</p><p>“Dangerous place,” replied Peter.</p><p>Dangerous indeed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>St. Raphael is the patron saint of bad dreams, thus the name of the church. </p><p>Thank you for reading :)</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Secrets & Stubbornness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius has secrets. Remus is stubborn to a dangerous extent. </p><p>TW: child abuse</p>
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    <p>A secret is a strange thing.</p><p>There are three kinds of secrets. One is the sort everyone knows about, the sort you need at least two people for. One to keep it. One to never know. The second is the harder kind of secret: one you keep from yourself. Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would-be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words: <em>I am afraid.</em></p><p>And then there is the third kind of secret, the most hidden kind. A secret no one knows about. Perhaps it was known once, but was taken to the grave. Or maybe it was a useless mystery, arcane and lonely, unfound because no one ever looked for it.</p><p>Sometimes, some rare times, a secret stays undiscovered because it is something too big for the mind to hold. It is too strange, too vast, too terrifying to contemplate.</p><p>Sirius Black lived with every sort of secret.</p><p>But one thing that was certainly not a secret, not kept from himself nor from anyone else, was how much Sirius hated attending school.</p><p>He grumbled and moaned and complained all morning about going to school, and continued to do so even when James dragged him out to Minnie and forced him into the passenger seat.</p><p>“You need to go.” His best friend said, before repeating the same speech he gave Sirius every fucking morning.</p><p>“Do you think Alphard will still give you the trust and continue to support you if you don’t go to school? He only gave you a few conditions, Sirius. Just don’t get kicked out of Hogwarts and stop fighting. I know you find it pointless but-”</p><p>Sirius drowned out the rest by cranking up the radio to full volume. He knows its fucking stupid and that he should be grateful. All he had to do was graduate high school and then he’d be set for life. But school is just so <em>pointless</em> for someone like him.</p><p>Which is something that James will never understand.</p><p>James let out a big sigh and looked at him disappointedly like the mother-hen he was. They drove in silence for a while until James pulled over at the end of the long dusty road leading to Remus’ house.</p><p>Remus wasn’t there.</p><p>The first time James and Sirius had gone to pick up Remus, they’d driven right past the entrance to Remus’ neighborhood. The road was barely a road, just two ruts through a field of dead grass. It was impossible to believe that it led to a single house much less a collection of houses. Once they had found the house, things had gone even more poorly. At the sight of James’ fancy car and their Hogwarts sweaters, Lyall Lupin had charged out, firing on all cylinders. Now Remus just met them at the cluster of mailboxes at the end of the path.</p><p>But today there was no one there.</p><p>There was just empty space and a lot of flat, open fields, colorless and dusty.</p><p>Sirius gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, trying not to think about Remus being hurt, or worse, while James called again and again and again. No answer.</p><p>“Maybe he took the bike today.” James said, without a lot of hope.</p><p>Sirius scoffed derisively and moved to open the door. “Fuck this, I’m going to check on him.”</p><p>James quickly grabbed onto his arm to keep him place. “No, we don’t want to make it worse.”</p><p>Sirius shook him off. “Well there’s not much worse than dead is there.”</p><p>He moved to open the door again but James sucked in a breath, locked the door and took off.</p><p>Sirius turned back to him angrily. “What the fuck? Turn the car around! We’re going back for him.”</p><p>“No,” James said resolutely. “We’re going to school before we’re late.”</p><p>“Don’t you care about Remus at all? His dad could be fucking killing him right now and you’re worried about your attendance record?” Sirius’ voice rose with every word.</p><p>“Don’t you?” James said, equally as loud. “He was out last night looking for you!”</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>James didn’t tell him he called Remus last night. What if he got caught sneaking out? What if he got punished trying to help <em>him</em>?</p><p>James looked at him and softened considerably. “Listen, he’s probably at school and forgot to tell us he didn’t need a ride. If he’s not there we’ll come back at lunch, alright?”</p><p>Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright.”</p>
<hr/><p>They didn’t make it to lunch.</p><p>James took one look at Sirius during third period English, fists clenched and knee bouncing up and down violently, and must have understood how desperate and guilty he felt.</p><p>Guilt was not an emotion Sirius felt often, but when he did it was always to an almost crippling degree.</p><p>Fear was also an unfamiliar emotion to him, but as they pulled down the road towards the Lupin trailer, Sirius was extremely afraid.</p><p>Lyall’s run down old pickup was missing, which was good news for everyone. But the fear would not dissipate until Sirius could see that Remus was okay.</p><p>He looked at James and said “I’ll go,” before jumping out of the car and running up to the double wide. He knocked on the door loudly, but no answer came from inside the dingy home. Then he rushed around back to the old carport. And there, finally, was Remus.</p><p>Sirius took a deep breath and thanked the God he no longer believed in that his friend was alive.</p><p>Remus was lying beneath a rusty Ford pulled up onto ramps, only the ends of his faded blue jeans visible. An empty oil pan protruded from under the car. There was no sound coming from beneath the car, and Sirius suspected that Remus wasn’t working so much as avoiding being in the trailer.</p><p>“Hey, Moony,” Sirius said, keeping his voice light.</p><p>Remus’ knees bent as if he were going to scoot himself out from under the car, but then he didn’t.</p><p>“What’s up?” he said flatly.</p><p>Sirius knew what this meant, this failure to immediately come out from beneath the car, and anger and guilt drew his chest tight.</p><p>“Come on, Lupin. Come out,” Sirius said. “Get it over with.”</p><p>The ripped knees of Remus’ jeans appeared first, then his faded Led Zeppelin T-shirt, then, finally, his face.</p><p>A bruise spread over his cheekbone, red and violent. His left eye was dark purple and nearly swollen shut. He gave a little grimace that was meant to be a smile, and that’s what shook Sirius out of his angry daze.</p><p>“You’re leaving with me. Right now.”</p><p>Remus turned away. “It will only make it worse when I come back.”</p><p>“I mean for good. Move into Gryffindor. Enough is enough.”</p><p>Remus stood up slowly. He stared at Sirius for a while, as if he could see past the anger and into the desperation plaguing Sirius’ soul. He needed Remus to be alright. He needed to have him safe and close and <em>alive</em>.</p><p>“And what about when you leave Hogsmeade?” Remus said finally. He wasn’t asking about James and Sirius, just Sirius. The thought made his heart race. But they both knew that the hunt for the Hallows and Peverell would take James away from Hogsmeade eventually, and Sirius would probably follow.</p><p>“You’ll come with me.” <em>Me</em>, not us.</p><p>Remus looked away from him again. “I can’t leave. I’ll lose all the work I put in at Hogwarts. I’d have to play the game at another school.”</p><p>Remus had once told them, <em>Rags to riches isn’t a story anyone wants to hear until after its done. </em>But it was a story that was hard to finish when Remus had to miss school to hide bruises and keep professors from asking questions.</p><p>Sirius said, “You don’t have to go to a school like Hogwarts. You don’t have to go to an Ivy League. There are different ways to escape.” <em>I can take care of you</em>, he thought.</p><p>At once, Remus said, “I don’t judge you for what you do, Sirius.”</p><p>By this he meant skipping classes and barely doing work and hating school with every fiber of his being. Remus had plenty of reasons to be indifferent about Sirius’ family issues, his drinking problems, and his supposed depression. <em>Poor little rich boy</em>. Compared to Remus’ shit life, Sirius should probably feel lucky. But Remus never judged and always supported him no matter what. Even when Remus first befriended James, and Sirius treated him like shit out of misplaced jealousy and an onslaught of feelings he couldn’t even begin to process, Remus never trivialized Sirius’ issues.</p><p>Out loud, Sirius said, “Fine. Then we find you another school wherever we go. We start a new life.”</p><p>Remus reached past him to find a rag and began to methodically wipe the grease off each finger. “I would have to find new jobs, too.”</p><p>Remus held down three different jobs at Greyback’s Auto Repair, a musty bar called Hog’s Head, and a trailer factory just outside town.</p><p>“I could cover you until you found something.”</p><p>Remus’ scrubbing of his fingers became considerably more violent at that statement. He didn’t look up at Sirius. This was a conversation they’d had before, and the words had been said often enough that they didn’t need to be said again.</p><p>Freedom meant nothing to Remus if he didn't get it for himself.</p><p>Sirius tried to keep his voice even, but a bit of heat crept in. “So you won’t leave because of your pride? He’ll kill you.”</p><p>“You’ve watched too many cop shows.”</p><p>“I’ve watched the news, Remus,” Sirius snapped. “Why don’t you at least fight back?”</p><p>With great care, Remus folded the greasy rag and draped it back over a toolbox. There was a lot of stuff in the carport. New tool racks and calendars of topless women and heavy-duty air compressors and other things Lyall Lupin had decided were more valuable than food or clothes for his son. “Because then he <em>will </em>kill me.”</p><p>“What?” Sirius demanded.</p><p>“He has a gun.”</p><p>Sirius lashed out and slammed his fist against a metal rack. “Fuck Remus. Please come live with me. Please.” Again, <em>me</em> was said instead of us, this time unconsciously.</p><p>He didn’t care if he sounded desperate anymore, he wanted Remus out of this house. But Remus was nothing if not stubborn, even if that stubbornness got him hurt.</p><p>“It means I never get to be my own person. If I let you cover for me, then I’m yours. I’m his now, and then I’ll be yours.”</p><p>It struck Sirius harder than he thought it would. <em>Would that really be so bad, for you to be mine?</em>  With precision, he asked, “Is that what you think of me?”</p><p>Remus took one look at his likely wounded expression and softened. “No, I just- I just need to do this on my own. I can’t belong to anyone else but myself. Do you understand?”</p><p>Sirius didn’t understand, but he nodded anyway. After a moment he said in a forced light tone, “Let’s go. James is waiting in the car to take us to the loony bin.”</p><p>Remus gave a little snort then followed him back to the front of the house. When they walked up to Minnie, James’ eyes widened at the sight of Remus’ face. He looked like he was about to say something about it but stopped when Sirius gave a small shake of his head.</p><p>“Hiya, Remus.” He said brightly while giving Sirius a look that implied they would be talking about this later. “I got notes for you.”</p><p>Remus smiled at him and slipped quietly into the back seat. As the Camaro slowly pulled out of the single-track road, their path was blocked by a blue pickup truck, approaching from the other way. Remus’ breath stopped audibly. Through the windshield, Sirius met the eyes of Remus’ father. Lyall Lupin was a big menacing thing, grown from the dust that surrounded the trailers. His eyes were dark and small and Sirius could see nothing of Remus in them.</p><p>Lyall spit out the window. He didn’t pull over for them to pass. Sirius didn’t look away. His heart thudded with anticipation and danger and the desire to make Lyall pay for what he did to Remus.</p><p><em>One day</em>, Sirius promised himself.</p><p>One day Remus would be free. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So not only did I accidentally write Gansey instead of James last chapter, I also wrote amnesia instead of insomnia lol. Both mistakes have been fixed but please please let me know if you catch anything else! I do edit these chapters but mistakes always manage to slip through.</p>
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